I'm feeling pretty frustrated right about now. I'm frustrated with myself and I'm frustrated with my job. When I filled out my time sheet for January, I noticed that even though I worked my butt off, I only gained 5 hours. That's so discouraging. So, being depressed about that and worn out from working so hard, I decided to sleep in today. Except I did more than just sleep in. I stayed home the whole day! There goes the 5 hours I worked so hard for and then some!
UGH! I just don't understand how that is possible! I will never get all my hours at this rate! I'm actually seriously considering quitting. The only reason why I don't want to is because I will miss the kids SO MUCH.
But seriously! I feel like crap. I feel like no matter how hard I work, it's not hard enough. And they just keep piling on more and more expectations of us. Now I have to plan the award ceremony for a poster contest. That means finding a place to hold the ceremony, writing the script for the MC, getting food donated, recruiting volunteers to judge the posters, getting people from the community (such as the mayor) to present the awards to the winners, designing the invitations for the event...and the list goes on and on. I have to do all that on top of the fifty million events I volunteered for to get more hours.
I'm honestly feeling like just giving up...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Toilet Talk
At Stevens Middle School (the place where I work) the bathroom stalls in the staff lounge have little posters called "toilet talk." Theres announcements for what's going on for the month and sometimes random quotes or jokes. I enjoy them immensely.
Last month's (January) had funny notes that parents actually wrote to excuse their kids when they were absent. Here are the ones I remember:
1. "Please excuse _______. She was in bed with gramps." (I assume he/she meant "cramps")
2. "Please excuse _______. He/She was sick and I had her shot."
3. "Please excuse _______. He/She had perfect attendance the last nine weeks. That's really good, so I let her stay home for a reward."
So that amused me. Another awesome thing the staff bathrooms have is candy! Ms. Manley, the sixth grade teacher whose math class I tutor in for an hour a day, told the students about the candy in the bathroom, so now they always ask me to get some for them.
The other day, a kid came up to me and said, "Miss, can you go to the bathroom?" It took me a minute to realize that he wasn't asking me if I was capable of using a toilet, he really just wanted me to go in and get him some candy. Middle schoolers have no shame when it comes to getting candy.
Last month's (January) had funny notes that parents actually wrote to excuse their kids when they were absent. Here are the ones I remember:
1. "Please excuse _______. She was in bed with gramps." (I assume he/she meant "cramps")
2. "Please excuse _______. He/She was sick and I had her shot."
3. "Please excuse _______. He/She had perfect attendance the last nine weeks. That's really good, so I let her stay home for a reward."
So that amused me. Another awesome thing the staff bathrooms have is candy! Ms. Manley, the sixth grade teacher whose math class I tutor in for an hour a day, told the students about the candy in the bathroom, so now they always ask me to get some for them.
The other day, a kid came up to me and said, "Miss, can you go to the bathroom?" It took me a minute to realize that he wasn't asking me if I was capable of using a toilet, he really just wanted me to go in and get him some candy. Middle schoolers have no shame when it comes to getting candy.
I am a brilliant artist.
Ok, I'm about to brag about my talents. But I'm completely justified in my bragging because I am pretty darn skilled! I've fallen in love with art all over again. Drawing is cool, but who knew I could be so passionate about cake decorating???
Well, it all started when I volunteered to bake a cake for my boss's birthday celebration that is taking place tomorrow. I started thinking about what type of cake it would be and how I would decorate it and I got carried away, as I often do when it comes to being creative. I drew several extremely difficult cake designs, but I decided to start small and went with one of the more simple ones. But I realized that decorating cakes is actually really amazing. You can be so creative!!! And I love the challenge of trying to think out of the box to make the most random, impossible things out of cake and frosting.
Anyway, I baked the cake and, amazingly, I didn't burn it. (I have burned many cookies in my baking days.) So then I decorated it. And I enjoyed the ENTIRE process. I didn't get bored at all. I was really patient and it turned out gorgeous. Agree? :D
Well, it all started when I volunteered to bake a cake for my boss's birthday celebration that is taking place tomorrow. I started thinking about what type of cake it would be and how I would decorate it and I got carried away, as I often do when it comes to being creative. I drew several extremely difficult cake designs, but I decided to start small and went with one of the more simple ones. But I realized that decorating cakes is actually really amazing. You can be so creative!!! And I love the challenge of trying to think out of the box to make the most random, impossible things out of cake and frosting.
Anyway, I baked the cake and, amazingly, I didn't burn it. (I have burned many cookies in my baking days.) So then I decorated it. And I enjoyed the ENTIRE process. I didn't get bored at all. I was really patient and it turned out gorgeous. Agree? :D
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I heart Sixth Graders
It's really unfortunate that I only have one sixth grade class that I tutor in, because I love sixth graders so much! They are so cute, and they actually appreciate things.
The other day, I came into the class 15 minutes late because I had to mail a pair of travelling pants to my very best friend during my lunch break and the line at the post office was insane! When I walked in, every single face brightened up and they all said, "Miss Cassandra!" like they hadn't seen me in years. And then 1:30 rolled around (the time when math is over for the sixth graders and I have to go back to the seventh graders) and they were all like, "Miss Cassandra, do you have to go???" and one kid said, "Let's staple her to the wall!" Haha. So adorable. Yes, a class of sixth grade students is currently my greatest source of joy. They complete me. ;)
The other day, I came into the class 15 minutes late because I had to mail a pair of travelling pants to my very best friend during my lunch break and the line at the post office was insane! When I walked in, every single face brightened up and they all said, "Miss Cassandra!" like they hadn't seen me in years. And then 1:30 rolled around (the time when math is over for the sixth graders and I have to go back to the seventh graders) and they were all like, "Miss Cassandra, do you have to go???" and one kid said, "Let's staple her to the wall!" Haha. So adorable. Yes, a class of sixth grade students is currently my greatest source of joy. They complete me. ;)
Intolerance in the church
So the past 24 hours I have noticed a huge problem in the church. It's something that never really occured to me before, but two specific instances brought it to my attention and I was really shocked.
The issue is intolerance and hate toward homosexuals.
The first example: Last night I was hanging out with some girl friends from church and a couple guys from church that I don't really know that well. I don't know them, but I know their family members and such. One guy, who has two brothers who are amazing examples of Christ, was talking about someone's wedding. I wasn't paying much attention until he said, "One of the invitations was sent out to Mr. and Mr. Something. I can't believe they invited fags to their wedding! What if they make out or something?! That's gross!" I was like, "WHAT?!" I don't remember everything that we said, but every person in the room agreed with him. One of my friends was like, "You like gay people?" I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not totally sure what my stance is on the whole "gay by choice" vs. "gay by nature" controversy. I do believe that homosexual acts are sins, but that's not the point. The point is that the attitudes of every person in that room were hateful and judgemental and they were not reflecting Christ. It's one thing to disagree with a person's lifestyle, but to hate or condemn him/her for it is something else. Christ calls us to love people, all people.
The next example: At church this morning I walked up to a friend in the middle of a conversation. She was telling a story to a few people around about her brother. Both she and her brother are on the high school leadership team at church.Apparently he was at school and saw two guys making out. She said that gay people make him irrationally mad. She said that he saw them and yelled, "FAGS!" and wanted to fight them, but she got him to walk away. She didn't seem to see any problem in her brother's actions and neither did anyone else who was listening.
When she finished with her story, my eyes were wide. I said, "Wow...I'm just realizing that is a huge problem right now." She was like, "What? Gay people? I know!" I shook my head, "No. Attitudes toward gays. People in the church hate gays. That's not ok. Their attitudes are actually hateful." Then she said, "Yeah, I know. That's why I pulled him away. But he just gets really mad when he sees that."
And then the conversation was over. That made it ok. Being gay is wrong. Homosexuals are sinners. Never mind that homosexuals are people whom God created and loves. Never mind that being a church leader means setting an example of Christ. Never mind that Jesus calls us to love even our enemies. We don't have to agree with everyone. We don't even have to like them, but we do have to love them.
Maybe this seems far-fetched to you, but I would compare that sort of attitude to racism. Calling a homosexual "Fag" is like calling a black person the "N-word" or a non-virgin "Whore." It's completely wrong and there is no way to justify it. The way my brothers- and sisters-in-Christ talk about gays reminds me of videos I watched in school about civil rights movements in The South. It reminds me of the way racist people hated African-Americans and, in my opinion, it is just as wrong.
That's all I wanted to say. Thanks for reading.
-Cassandra Helena
The issue is intolerance and hate toward homosexuals.
The first example: Last night I was hanging out with some girl friends from church and a couple guys from church that I don't really know that well. I don't know them, but I know their family members and such. One guy, who has two brothers who are amazing examples of Christ, was talking about someone's wedding. I wasn't paying much attention until he said, "One of the invitations was sent out to Mr. and Mr. Something. I can't believe they invited fags to their wedding! What if they make out or something?! That's gross!" I was like, "WHAT?!" I don't remember everything that we said, but every person in the room agreed with him. One of my friends was like, "You like gay people?" I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not totally sure what my stance is on the whole "gay by choice" vs. "gay by nature" controversy. I do believe that homosexual acts are sins, but that's not the point. The point is that the attitudes of every person in that room were hateful and judgemental and they were not reflecting Christ. It's one thing to disagree with a person's lifestyle, but to hate or condemn him/her for it is something else. Christ calls us to love people, all people.
The next example: At church this morning I walked up to a friend in the middle of a conversation. She was telling a story to a few people around about her brother. Both she and her brother are on the high school leadership team at church.Apparently he was at school and saw two guys making out. She said that gay people make him irrationally mad. She said that he saw them and yelled, "FAGS!" and wanted to fight them, but she got him to walk away. She didn't seem to see any problem in her brother's actions and neither did anyone else who was listening.
When she finished with her story, my eyes were wide. I said, "Wow...I'm just realizing that is a huge problem right now." She was like, "What? Gay people? I know!" I shook my head, "No. Attitudes toward gays. People in the church hate gays. That's not ok. Their attitudes are actually hateful." Then she said, "Yeah, I know. That's why I pulled him away. But he just gets really mad when he sees that."
And then the conversation was over. That made it ok. Being gay is wrong. Homosexuals are sinners. Never mind that homosexuals are people whom God created and loves. Never mind that being a church leader means setting an example of Christ. Never mind that Jesus calls us to love even our enemies. We don't have to agree with everyone. We don't even have to like them, but we do have to love them.
Maybe this seems far-fetched to you, but I would compare that sort of attitude to racism. Calling a homosexual "Fag" is like calling a black person the "N-word" or a non-virgin "Whore." It's completely wrong and there is no way to justify it. The way my brothers- and sisters-in-Christ talk about gays reminds me of videos I watched in school about civil rights movements in The South. It reminds me of the way racist people hated African-Americans and, in my opinion, it is just as wrong.
That's all I wanted to say. Thanks for reading.
-Cassandra Helena
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