He's Just NOT That Into You

Marisha, you're wonderful. Thanks for knowing that I would love reading this book.

I adored the movie, but the book is so much more enlightening. And surprisingly, it's not boring at all! I normally can't read nonfiction or self help books or whatever you want to call it, but I'm already almost finished with this one! I especially love the chapter on "He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you." So true. And absolutely obvious, right? WRONG! The "But He Misses Me" Excuse: I absolutely needed to read that. Thanks, Greg (& Marisha).

It's so silly of me to let anything in my past hold me back from complete happiness now. Maybe this sounds conceited, but I don't care, it's the truth: I am (as Marisha puts it) a boy-magnet in Spokane! There are at least five guys that are currently interested in me and have expressed it to me. However, I keep finding ridiculous and illegitimate things wrong with them. Like So-and-so has sweaty hands, or That-one-guy can't spell anything right, or Mr. Not-so-right is too into his cat. Who really cares!? They are all nice guys who would treat me great, but for some reason, I'm just not into them. The only explanation I have is that I'm not completely over The-heart-breaker. So I'm going to make sure I get over him, and quick, so I can fully move on.

Spokompton!

Update: I've been in Spokane for about 2 months now and it's wonderful. My roommates are awesome and we all get along. I love hanging out with them. Plus, it's not the Dry-Shitties!

The best thing that has come out of moving to the Spokane/Post Falls/Coeur d' Alene area is getting to spend so much time with Max. Let's just say I'm so glad I didn't move a thousand miles away from him. I don't see him quite as much now that I moved out of Nathan and Ala's, but he is the most precious part of my life. I love him more than any human being who ever lived. I can't wait to be the aunt of another one of my brother's little rugrats. (Ala is about 4 months pregnant right now :D )

I don't know how long I'll stick around here, but I won't go too far for too long. I want to watch Max grow up and turn into a little stud.

Wuthering Heights: the book!

Did I really say I loved Heathcliff?!? Obviously, the movie I watched portrayed the characters a lot differently than Wuthering Heights the book. There is absolutely nothing lovely about Heathcliff, Catherine, or even Edgar in the actual book. I hate Catherine the most. I am enjoying reading Wuthering Heights, though. Even though the characters are awful and I know it has no happy ending, it's entertaining to read about how thoroughly they destroy their own lives. They have no decency and ultimately they deserve all their suffering, but it's still sad. And I like sad. I know that sounds morbid, but whatever. It's a great piece of literature. You should read it! :D

Wuthering Heights

I watched Wuthering Heights on Netflix last night, thinking it was probably going to be cheesy and possibly hard to follow, but I LOVED it! I am in love with Heathcliff. Now I'm going to go to the library and check out the book!

Three Jobs!

I was a little worried about finding work when I moved here. I thought it would be a bad time to go job hunting. My second day in Post Falls, I got not one, but TWO jobs! They weren't necessarily hiring, but they liked me :). One of the jobs is at a bead store called "Bead It" and I'm starting on Friday. The other one is next door (they share employees) and it's a tanning salon called "Relax and Tan." I'll be starting there on March 7th and working every other Sunday for a little while until the beach opens up and the main employee leaves to lifeguard full time at the lake. And get this: Gayle (owner of Bead It) told me that since they're pretty slow most of the time, I can bring anything I want to entertain me such as books, a portable DVD player, a laptop, or whatever else I can think of. She also said it is ok for me to talk on my cell phone as long as there are no customers in the store! And at the tanning salon, I get FREE tanning! I am so excited to get these jobs! But I really need something RIGHT NOW. I'm broke and they won't need me that much until summer. So I was still looking for something else. I was on a walk at the park by the resort with Michelle Sunday and we decided to check out the shops and I discovered there is a Del Sol store in Coeur d' Alene! I was bummed because it was closed. The next day I went there again with Ala and Max and we played at the park for a while and then I walked by again to see if they were open and I met the owner. He asked the infamous question, "Have you ever been to a Del Sol store?" I was like, "Yeah, I used to work at one actually. Are you guys hiring?" He told me I came at just the right time because he was going to be losing most of his employees from the previous year. He said he was really excited that I came by and he believes everything happens for a reason. So I'm going back today to bring in my application and do a mock sale, which I'm a little nervous about. I'm not a very good pretender. The only issue, once again, is that he doesn't need me until late March and then he will need me a lot in the summer. So I'm basically going to have THREE part time jobs this summer!!! I won't have a life. But on the plus side, I will make a lot of money for China.

Over it? I guess not.

Stupid Austin sent me messages again yesterday: pictures of his apartment and a new shelf he built. Why can't he just leave me alone! Ugh! And then this morning I was trying to delete him from my facebook and myspace and I read a couple of his status updates and comments. He was telling Kathy Del Pozo about his new girlfriend that he is "stoked about" and one of his status updates said "running with my girlfriend." It took forever to figure out how to just delete him. I should have done that a long time ago. I realized yesterday that I was leaving connections to him and it was time to just erase it all. I'm going to see what I can do about blocking his number too. It just really hurts. Why does he have to rub it in my face? For the past couple weeks, I was feeling really good about everything...like I was over it. Now here I am feeling awful and insignificant and heartbroken all over again. The worst thing is just that it was so easy for him to forget all about me and be crazy about someone else. I hate this feeling and I hate him for giving it to me. I wish I was better at expressing how I feel, because I'm sure what I've written doesn't even come close to describing it. I feel like dying.

China update

Wow, it's crazy what can happen in 24 hours! Last night, Marisha told me about ILP and now I'm most likely going to be leaving for China in the next three weeks! It has been a weird and wonderful day. I researched the program and decided it was something that I would LOVE. So I talked to a representative and got interviewed and filled out my application and got my references. Every hurdle that came along, I leaped over it. Passport? I'll get it expedited. Tuition? I'll raise the money. If I can't raise it all, I'll get a loan. It's just amazing how perfect this is for me right now. I want an adventure and that's what I'm getting. I want to travel/leave home and I'm going to the other side of the planet! My family is being really supportive (well, my mom and sister are really the only ones who know right now). It's just super exciting. This is what I need! And I'm going to make it happen, gosh darn it! :) I love you, Marisha, for knowing me so well and for thinking of me when you heard about ILP. And maybe we can both go together for another semester! That would make me so happy!

So, my "to do" list for tomorrow:

• write a fundraising letter
• get my passport photos taken
• apply for an expedited passport
• contact my family members and tell them what I'm doing
• talk to someone at church who can help me find a way to raise money
• finish the art pieces for the Tamburellos so I can offer that service if needed

This is going to be wonderful! I can't wait.

Wishy-washy Cassandra

So...yet another opportunity has presented itself to me, thanks to Marisha (love ya!). I'm now considering postponing the phlebotomy course for another 5 to 6 months. Yeah, I know: this is, like, the millionth time I've changed my mind since September, but I think that to not at least consider this unique and really really intriguing opportunity would be a disservice to myself. Since I'm about 80% sure (on most days) that I want to pursue a career in teaching, this opportunity makes a lot more sense than learning to draw blood. The catch is that phlebotomy will make me a lot of money (that's why I was planning on pursuing it) whereas this other option will cost me about $3,500 between tuition, passport, and personal leisure/travel. So, are you ready to hear what it is!? GREAT! Because I'm dying to tell you! It's the International Language Programs. They recruited Marisha yesterday and told her about it. She says they need someone to go to China in the next 3 weeks or they will have to close their school! She can't go because she is in the middle of school, but she gave them my number. What an amazing friend! :) Of course I would love to do it. For one, I LOVE kids and teaching. For two, it makes sense for my future. For three, I am dying for some kind of an adventure. I want to travel the world and this is the perfect way to do it! Basically, what I learned from the hour on the phone talking to Marisha about it and the two+ hours I spend researching the program on the website is that it sends college-aged adults to various locations in Russia, Ukraine, China, and Mexico to teach English to children from Kindergarten to High-School-age. The teaching method used is basically just playing with the kids and speaking only English. If I were to go, I would go to China because that's where the need is and also because I think it sounds like the most interesting place. The teachers in China live in dorms/apartments together and each of the cities where the schools are located are close to either Shanghai, Hong Kong, or Beijing. How cool is that!? I would love to visit one of those famous cities! And I would have an opportunity to visit the Great Wall. Another really intriguing aspect of the program is the education I will receive. There are culture classes available twice a month and language classes twice a week. There are TONS of unique things to experience there such as taking judo classes, joining a ballroom dance team, going to operas, going to museums, and just exploring a different country. I really REALLY hope it all works out. I was worried at first about being able to get a passport in such a short amount of time, but I researched it and it will cost about $80 more to get it expedited, but I can get one in as little as seven days if I pay $175. I don't know how I would come up with the rest of the money (2,500 for tuition and $1,000 for travel and leisure), but I'll see what I can do about using my education award for it, fundraising, or making payments later. I'm completely broke at the moment, but I'm not going to let that get in my way. I will do whatever I need to do to make this happen!

Idaho, here I come!

Yep, that's right: I am 90% sure that I am going to move to Idaho in the next few weeks. It will probably be only temporary, but we'll see how it goes. I'm going to enroll in either a phlebotomy or health unit coordinator course through the workforce training program at North Idaho College. Both programs end in May, so I will have the option to go to Skagway again for the summer (if I can mannage to find a job on such short notice) and be ready to start college in the fall!

So I'm feeling pretty hopeful for my future, which is nice since barely a week ago my total bliss was abruptly shattered by the love of my life.